FAQ
How many sessions do I recommend?
I'd advise you to trust your own guidance on this one. I work with folks for a single session, a few sessions, a few times a year. I have a few working relationships that started over a decade ago. Sometimes all you need is momentary support. Other times you may benefit from the commitment and momentum that comes with having a guide (& friend) that believes in you and is there to support you. I believe what spiritual teacher, Adyashanti, so impeccably states: “If I do this work honestly, I’ll put myself out of work as fast as possible."
Do I work with women and couples?
I work with folks of all ethnicities, gender & sexual orientations, body types, and abilities.
I'm open and receptive to working with women / vulva-owning folks.
What I've found to be most essential, through my experiences as a client, is to take notice of how do you feel around a guide. Do you feel safe, seen, heard, and respected?
I do not currently work with couples.
Note on kinky play
I no longer offer kink exploration with first-time clients. Kink can be an important vehicle for creativity, emotional discovery, acceptance, and care - even when it doesn't look that way from the outside.
But I've noticed that when kink is the focus of a first session, we both tend to slip into playing roles rather than really meeting each other. Most of us are already spending a lot of time performing in our every day lives. I've found kink is much more impactful when we begin with the foundations of good quality sensual play: presence, trust, honesty, freedom. I offer only light kinky play at my discretion for returning clients.
A Semester with Jesse
A guided exploration into the soul of erotic intimacy spread across a semester, paced to your life.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development - the longest running scientific study of happiness ever conducted - asked one question: what makes a good life? They tracked wealth, success, health, genetics, lifestyle. The answer is simple: the quality of our relationships determines how well and how long you live.
What about the quality of our sexual and intimate lives?
We all read the same headlines: fewer people are having sex, across all age groups, including young people. Sex in long term relationships is declining. Dating feels harder than ever, and more are opting out entirely. Sex has been reduced to content, porn dependence is rising. Physical touch, not just sexual, is disappearing from daily life. We have more resources than ever: new sex toys, libido enhancing supplements, dating apps, social media relationship coaches, tantra weekend retreats, and now AI companions.
So much of our lives is governed by managing, predicting, knowing. Sex and love have never once played by those rules. They remain what they have always been primordial, ungovernable, leading us into the most unpredictable places.
What if sex and love were not problems to be solved, but mysteries that awaken our soul?
I understand that soul may sound vague, spiritual, hard to locate in the day-to-day. Thomas Moore, in the book Soul Mates, describes it as "a deep stirring inside", what shapes the way we make choices and find meaning.
Better sex requires an opening to the soul, not just the body, and the soul is full of quirky life. I consider this soul work, developing a real relationship with your depth, and becoming more real in love, desire, and intimacy.
Session 1 — Initial Call (90min phone) In fifteen years of this work, one thing still moves me: how many people have never had the chance to speak freely about their love and sex lives. Not with their partner, their friends, or with a therapist.
Session 1 is a chance to talk openly and unhurried, at your own pace. First sexual or romantic experiences: how did it shape you? How has your relationship to pleasure and sex changed with age? What do you hope for?
We all want erotic intimacy. But what is actually driving that wanting? We often seek it for recognizable reasons: it feels good, it's exciting, relieves stress, we are attracted to someone, we want closeness, to feel desired. All valid. But also temporary, and usually depends on another person showing up a certain way.
When we want to improve our intimate lives, we tend to focus on behavior: go on more dates, try new things in bed, try harder. But behavior is what we do. Values are why we do it. And most of our patterns and our frustrations are not random. They are values being honored unconsciously.
I have found that discovering your unconscious values and fostering your deepest values is the most honest starting place for this work. It builds a sense of inner intimacy and grows with you regardless of what sex and love does or doesn't bring.
Session 2 — Clothing-on Karezza & Cuddling (3hr in-person) Most of us let someone into our bed before we let them into our inner life. Physical intimacy is often the easier risk. Being more honestly known is the harder one. This session gently reverses that. Trading performance for presence, and creating space for real emotional connection.
Session 3 — Your Hidden Beliefs (90 min phone) Using hypnotherapy and NLP parts work, we befriend more of your inner life. Uncovering beliefs that hold us back and where we have lost touch with ourselves. Fostering the parts of us that already love freely, play openly, and delight in intimacy. Exploring light trance states to discover how our soul speaks to us in subtle sensations, feelings, intuition, symbols, metaphors, awe & wonder.
Session 4 — Sensual Bodywork (3.5 or 5hr in-person) By now, we have maps and we are not strangers. Two people celebrating the rare opportunity to be fully free and magical together. This is the true creative nature of erotic love in practice.
By the end of our semester together, you leave with more than memories of good sessions, you leave with something to draw from and build upon long after we're done.
Soul work takes time. The research on actual change, as opposed to temporary relief or insight, is not necessarily the technique or the modality that makes the difference, as much as it is the therapeutic alliance - with self & other.